Play to Their Strengths by Analyn & Brandon Miller

Bring out the best in your children by shifting the focus to what's right with your kids instead of what's wrong!

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I received a free copy of this product from Harvest House Publishers in exchange for writing a review.  All opinions are my own.

I was so excited to get this book and read it, but it took me a bit longer to digest, since it's just a few pages longer than a children's picture book {wink}:

Play to Their Strengths

The Low-Pressure Guide to Parenting Your Preschooler by Tim Sanford (A Review)

Trying to be a "perfect" parent, but feeling overwhelmed by all the advice and resources out there?  Relax!  Author Tim Sanford explains how to erase all that anxiety and spend time enjoying these precious years with your preschooler!

Some of the links on this site are affiliate links. This means if you click on a link and purchase something, I'll receive a small affiliate commission at no cost to you. Thanks so much for supporting my efforts with this blog!

I received a free copy of this product from Tyndale House Publishers in exchange for writing a review.  All opinions are my own.

It's easy to feel stressed out during the parenting journey, which is why the encouragement Tim Sanford presents in his book is so refreshing.

This Focus on the Family book (no wonder it's such a great resource!) persuades you to get rid of the "shoulds" and "what-ifs" in your life, take a deep breath and explore Tim Sanford's message of low-pressure parenting.

The Low-Pressure Guide to Parenting Your Preschooler by Tim Sanford

Enjoy Improved Relationships by Using Nonviolent Communication, Part VIII

If you want to support what I’m doing with this blog, just follow any of the product links and order whatever you want off of Amazon at no additional cost to you.  That’s it and I’ll get a little bonus.  Thanks so much for clicking!

 

This is part eight in my series on Nonviolent Communication.  You can find parts one, two, three, four, five, six, and seven here.

Today we'll be finishing up this series by focusing on anger & gratitude.  

Anger

It's important to learn how to fully express anger (and not in superficial ways like hitting or blaming).  Anger functions like an alarm clock; it signals needs we have that aren't being met so we can do a better job of focusing on them.

Even "righteous" anger should be handled this way.  Anger takes a tremendous amount of energy and instead of focusing this energy dwelling on horrible things like murder, we should look at the root - what needs aren't being met - in order to understand what led to the action.  This is not excusing such atrocities, but attempting to enhance life.

3 Things to Remember When You're Feeling Angry

1. Realize that what people do isn't the cause, but the stimulus, of your anger.  What is the cause?  Choosing to blame or sit in judgement (even if not conscious of it) instead of focusing on which needs aren't being met
2. Focus on your own feelings and needs so that connections can be made with others
3. Focus on the other person's feelings and needs, which allows us to share in common humanity and follow what's going on in the heart instead of what's going on in the head

Steps for Dealing with Anger

1. Stop and stay quiet for a moment, then: 
2. Identify the thoughts that are making you angry (what action set you off - like the fact that when someone arrived at a business party, they spoke to all the men first) 
3. Look for the need behind whatever judgement jumps to mind (that person must be sexist since he talked to men first & I have a need to feel valued equally as a woman) 
4. Share what needs haven't been met by this action, which can require lots of courage *You might first need to empathize with the other person so they'll be able to reciprocate to you 
5. After you share your need, stop and ask the other person to state,what they heard 
6. Take your time doing all of this (sometimes using a card as a cheat sheet, like the graphic below, can help walk you through this process until it becomes automatic)

If you often find yourself angry at others, then it might be helpful to practice these skills.  Try this exercise:  Make an "I don't like people who are ______" list.  Then ask what your needs are when you make those judgements.

Gratitude

Nonviolent Communication is not just about dealing with difficult issues.  At its core, it's about celebrating life, so this means also expressing gratitude with yourself and others.

As with everything we've discussed in this series so far, our intentions behind our actions are vitally important.  This means we have to scrutinize our praise and compliments.  Although these forms of communication seem positive, they can still come from a place of judgement, making them helpful tools only on a short-term basis.  This is because their effect wears off once people realize they are being manipulated in this way.

Remember that labeling others is always a judgement.  This is true even with positive labels.  "You're such a good boy" might seem like a helpful thing to share with your son, but it creates impossible standards for him to live up to (the need to always be good and perfect, as well as a tie in his mind to his behavior and your love/approval).

In order to use NVC to express gratitude, you need to celebrate the way your life has been enriched by others and not hand out praise just to get something.  Keep in mind also that if you are giving a compliment in order to help another person's self-esteem, then you're really promoting an addiction to relying on others for their feeling of worth.

Steps for Expressing Gratitude

1. Identify actions that were a stimulus 
2. Share what needs were fulfilled 
3. Share what pleasurable feelings you had that came from the fulfilled need

Just as we want to show ourselves and others empathy in difficult situations, we must always receive gratitude with empathy, too.  (Often this is done from a place of egotism or false humility)

Well, we've made it through the series. 

Whew! 

I know these posts have been a bit heavy at times, but NVC is such a helpful tool for relationships that its principles had to be shared.  I hope you use (or at least consider) implementing some of these relationship strategies in your life.

Download a printable version of the cheat sheet here

What do you think of the strategies and steps of NVC?  Do they sound like something you might use?  Do you think you might investigate this topic further, or just use the information I presented to help improve your communication skills with those around you?  I'd love to hear - leave a comment or email me at lisahealy (at) outlook (dot) com.

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Enjoy Improved Relationships by Using Nonviolent Communication, Part VII

If you want to support what I’m doing with this blog, just follow any of the product links and order whatever you want off of Amazon at no additional cost to you.  That’s it and I’ll get a little bonus.  Thanks so much for clicking!

 

This is part seven in my series on Nonviolent Communication.  You can find parts one, two, three, four, five, and six here.

The What

Today we'll be focusing on empathy, which involves not just understanding on an intellectual level, but having an empathic connection.

Empathy provides support - it shares in whatever big, bad issues someone is dealing with and helps them feel less alone.

It's important to remember that often we can't give empathy to others until we've gotten enough of it ourselves.  If that's the case with you, you might need to withdraw and give yourself a bit of empathy before you can be in a place to offer it to someone else. 

Offering empathy can also diffuse violence.  Once a violent situation has been diffused, it's easier to see that the other person is dealing with a real struggle, which then makes it easier for us to offer our help.

The How

One way of doing this is to restate what you've heard from the other person.  That's often all people want - to know they've been heard.  Reflect back the feelings and needs that you understand the other person is sharing.  To do this, you'll need to listen for these things being shared and not just react to what they are saying.

Having a fight?  Are you getting defensive and tempted to put your "but" in the other person's face?  Are you offering excuses?  ("You never put your things away!"  "But I'm tired when I get home.")  Instead, try reflecting back the feelings and needs to the other person ("It sounds like you're really angry when I come home and throw my clothes on the floor and that you want a peaceful environment without a lot of mess.")

Pitfalls

Keep in mind that it's hard to get empathy if you're telling a story from the past instead of sharing what's alive in you right now.  Don't dredge anything up.  Instead, describe the action of the moment that is setting you off, state how you are feeling about it, and then convey what need is not being met, along with a request for how the other person can meet that need.

If you find yourself in a lifeless conversation with a "babble-on-ian" (someone who just babbles on and on and on, instead of considering the reason behind what they are sharing), then interrupt them - in a kind way.  Say something like, "It sounds like you're still feeling hurt by what your friend did years ago and you want some understanding."  While at first this might seem harsh, it's more considerate to interrupt someone than to listen without care.

Ask if and how the conversation is meeting the other person's needs.  (What's the point of their story?  What are they trying to convey, in feelings and needs?)   And by all means, if you realize that you are going on and on about something, take a moment to reflect on these questions for yourself!

Choices

It's worth mentioning a reminder here about the choices we make and how important it is to discover the values behind those choices.  Often what we'll be babbling on about is our unhappiness with some situation that seems out of our control.

Try this exercise:

• Make a list of what things you feel you "should" do that you don't like to and that keep you from enjoying life.  ("I should take out the garbage each week, I should mow the lawn, I should pay my bills...") 
• Then write, "I choose to" in place of the "shoulds."  ("I choose to take out the garbage each week, I choose to mow the lawn, I choose to pay my bills...")
• Once you acknowledge that you've chosen to do these things, it becomes easier to see your motivation behind them. ("I choose to take out the garbage each week so I don't have a houseful of bugs and a stinky mess, I choose to mow the lawn so it will be a welcoming place for my child to play, I choose to pay my bills so that we can enjoy things like working electricity and a roof over our heads...")
• In doing this exercise, you might actually find that you don't really have to do that chore, or you might better appreciate the benefits resulting from it.  Regardless, it's helpful to be conscious of the reason behind the task so that we can experience them as positives for our lives.

What's Next?

What's next in this series?   I'll be wrapping things up with a final post focusing on anger & gratitude

NVC concepts can make such a difference in how you view yourself and others.  Feel free to ask any questions regarding NVC you might have in the comments - and don't forget to sign up to receive Syncopated Mama blog updates by email, so you don't miss a single installment of this series!

Resources I've used to learn about NVC

Keep reading!  Find the conclusion to my NVC series here!
Linked up with Thrifty Thursday at Living Well Spending Less
Yes Works for Me 
Kitchen Fun & Crafty 
I'm Lovin' It  

Enjoy Improved Relationships by Using Nonviolent Communication, Part VI

If you want to support what I’m doing with this blog, just follow any of the product links and order whatever you want off of Amazon at no additional cost to you.  That’s it and I’ll get a little bonus.  Thanks so much for clicking!

 

This is part six in my series on Nonviolent Communication.  You can find parts one, two, three, four, and five here.

Today we'll be focusing on the fourth stage of the NVC process, which is how to make requests that are gifts, not demands.   

Remember to always begin this process with expressing your feelings and the needs behind them, rather than jumping the gun and asking specific people to take a specific action (which would be a request, even though it's often misunderstood to be a need).  One example of a way this mistake can be made is by asking a question like, "Why don't you get your hair cut?" instead of, "I'm worried that your hair being in your eyes will keep you from seeing clearly, and I have a need for your safety.  Would you consider getting it cut?"

The reason we want to make our request a gift is because then the action that results from it will come from a place of compassion (people want to help others), rather than guilt or force. 

To make a request, first be clear

Use positive action language 

• Say what you DO want and not what you DON'T want. "Put your clothes away." vs. "Don't leave your clothes on the floor."
• Express your need and then use positive language to describe how others can meet your need.  
• Do this even for yourself - focus on the behavior you want to express. 

Provide concrete actions others can take  

• Put your request into precise (not vague or abstract) language.  "Please put your dishes in the dishwasher when you're done eating." vs. "I want help cleaning up from dinner." 
• People often use vague and abstract wording for impossible requests (they want others to do whatever they want and be happy doing it).  
• Often we talk to or at others, instead of making our point clear.  Take for example the request of "I'm thirsty."  Does this mean you want someone in particular to get you a drink, or are you just sharing?  What's the point?

How to express a request and not a demand

Make sure your message was heard correctly

• Usually, you can rely on verbal cues for this.  (Ask the other person, "Is that clear?") 
• Other times, it's better for them to restate what you said in their own words.
• Be careful how you correct people when they reflect back what they heard!
• If they didn't get it right, say something like "I'm grateful to you for telling me what you heard, but I can see I didn't make myself clear enough, so let me try again."

Make sure your objective is for the other person to fulfill your request willingly

•  If your objective is just to get people to do what you want, it's a demand.  This is demonstrated by how you act towards them if they don't do what you're asking.  If people feel punished, rejected, guilt or shame if they say no, then you have made a demand and not a request.
• If you treat people okay even if they don't do what you're asking, then it's a genuine request.  This idea of allowing someone to choose to meet your need by presenting a request reminds me of how God gives us free will - he would rather have us choose to love him, as opposed to being automatons that are just programmed to love him.  
• Keep a check on your motives by asking for an honest reaction to your request ("How do you feel after I shared this request?")

Use language that shows you are considering the needs of the other person

• "Would you be willing to..."
• "How can I let you know what I need without it sounding like a demand?"
• Avoid "demand" words like should, supposed to, deserve, justified, right to (this applies to the thoughts you have in your head when making your request, as well as the words you actually speak out loud.)

What's next in this series?   You'll find out how to show empathy to yourself and others, while taking responsibility only for your own feelings.

NVC concepts can make such a difference in how you view yourself and others.  Feel free to ask any questions regarding NVC you might have in the comments - and don't forget to sign up to receive Syncopated Mama blog updates by email, so you don't miss a single installment of this series!

Resources I've used to learn about NVC

Keep reading!  Find Part 7 of my NVC series here!

Linked up with Thrifty Thursday at Living Well Spending Less
Yes Works for Me  
Kitchen Fun & Crafty  
I'm Lovin It   

Enjoy Improved Relationships by Using Nonviolent Communication, Part V

If you want to support what I’m doing with this blog, just follow any of the product links and order whatever you want off of Amazon at no additional cost to you.  That’s it and I’ll get a little bonus.  Thanks so much for clicking!

 

This is part five in my series on Nonviolent Communication.  You can find parts one, two, three, and four here.

Today we'll be focusing on the third stage of the NVC process.  Just as we ought to become more adept at making observations and sharing our feelings, we must also develop a rich vocabulary of needs and learn how to express these to others.

There are generally three stages people go through with regard to how they do this:

Stage One

We tend to assume responsibility for the feelings of others as well as feeling an obligation to make others happy, which can deny our own needs in the process, but we can empathize with others without taking responsibility for their feelings.

We should remember that it's important to take responsibility for our own feelings.  Statements such as "You hurt my feelings" are just plain wrong, because our feelings are a result of how we take things.  Think of the word responsible as response-able; we're only responsible for what we're able to control - that's our behavior, intentions, and how we react to others (which depends on our feelings).

One way to insure you're taking responsibility is to follow your feelings with "because I."  

"I feel angry because I didn't ensure the electric bill was paid this month and now the power has been turned off."

Stage Two

We next rebel against this perceived responsibility for the feelings of others and understand that we have a right to express our needs, but we don't do this well.  

We're programmed to make moralistic judgements (analyzing what's wrong with a situation), which can lead to anger, guilt, shame, and depression.  We become critical of others, and neglect to look for ways to consider their feelings and needs.

Stage Three

Emotional liberation requires asserting our own needs, but in a way that considers others at the same time.  Now, at this third stage, we cannot only express our needs well, but respond to the needs of others with compassion and communicate that we are equally concerned with them.

Just What Are Needs?   

Needs are the basic requirements for life that are common to all people and not tied to a particular circumstance or strategy for fulfillment (like safety, empathy, sustenance, honesty, meaning, love, etc.)

If what you claim you need contains a reference to a specific action by specific person, then that's really just a strategy, not a need ("I feel sad because I need you to spend more time with me.")

Just as I did with the words relating to feelings, I've created some needs mini-posters. These can strengthen your needs vocabulary by helping you become more familiar with the words which describe needs.

You can print out this free download to display and help you practice recognizing specific needs.  One suggestion is to post them on your refrigerator as a reminder of what words to use to back up your feelings, or you could even use them as flash cards (Do you homeschool?  These mini-posters would work well for studying different words associated with needs!) 

A Warning 

Remember that it can't be what someone did, but how we're interpreting an action that causes our feelings.  When we are experiencing emotions such as anger, guilt, shame, and depression, we should use these feelings to alert us that we are "up in our head" and making judgements.  Since we want to communicate our needs to others and not analyze in a judgmental way, we must find the need that's not being fulfilled behind the judgement, or translate the judgement into a need.

It can take a long time to determine what needs are behind our feelings, since we're not used to doing it, but once we have and use this language of life, conflicts are easy to resolve. 

Resolving Conflicts 

Instead of using a language of love, we end up criticizing the actions of others, which others naturally react to in self-defense.  Think about this: When people hear criticism, they think crisis and get defensive.  

It's important to remember always to express your feelings with needs presented alongside ("I feel ____ because I have a need for ___.")  You have to be clear about what needs are not being met in order to resolve conflicts.

Then, it's imperative for the other person to repeat back the stated need to make sure it is clearly understood.  Marshall Rosenberg, the creator of Nonviolent Communication, asserts that any conflict can be resolved within 20 minutes - once both parties can state what the other person's needs are.

Is it a Need?  Test yourself with these statements:

1.  "You irritate me when you roll your eyes at something I say."  (No, this is not expressing a need.)
2.  "I feel angry when you say you don't care about how the room looks, because my need for partnership is not being met."  (Yes, this expresses a feeling and the need behind it.)
3.  "I feel frustrated when you don't pick up your clothes from the floor."  (No.  While this describes a feeling due to an action, it is not followed with what need isn't being met.)
4.  "I'm sad you're not coming over, because I hoped to spend evening together."  (No, this is a strategy, not a need.)
5.  "I'm disappointed because you didn't call."  (No, there is no mention of needs here.)
6.  "I'm discouraged because I didn't finish the project today."  (Yes, although it would be better to look over the list of needs and choose a specific word to express the need.)
7.  "Little things people say hurt me."  (No, remember that your feelings are your responsibility.)
8.  "I feel happy that you came over."  (No, although it could be, if you followed that up with something like, "because my need for companionship was met.")
9.  "I feel scared when you yell."  (Again, this is a no, unless followed up with a "because I need.")
10. "I'm grateful that you came to help me clean today, because I needed support."  (Yes)

What's next in this series?  We'll discuss how to make requests that are gifts, not demands.  

Our culture says that needs are needy and selfish and therefore we should have an apologetic or "kick me" attitude when we share them.  Instead, we need to see our needs as a gift to others - a way for them to find out how to help us.

NVC concepts can make such a difference in how you view yourself and others.  Feel free to ask any questions regarding NVC you might have in the comments - and don't forget to sign up to receive Syncopated Mama blog updates by email, so you don't miss a single installment of this series!

Resources I've used to learn about NVC

 


Keep reading!  Find Part 6 of my NVC series here!

Linked up with Thrifty Thursday at Living Well Spending Less
Yes Works for Me 
Kitchen Fun & Crafty 
I'm Lovin It 
Creative Ways  
Throwback Thursday
Friday Frivolity

Enjoy Improved Relationships by Using Nonviolent Communication, Part IV

If you want to support what I’m doing with this blog, just follow any of the product links and order whatever you want off of Amazon at no additional cost to you.  That’s it and I’ll get a little bonus.  Thanks so much for clicking!

 

This is part four in my series on Nonviolent Communication.  You can find part one here, part two here and part three here.

Today we'll be focusing on the second stage of the NVC process.  As I shared in part three of this series, first you'll want to make an observation of the actions of others.  This is where you pinpoint a time when your needs are or aren't being met.

The next step is to express what's alive in you by stating what you are feeling.

This sounds simple, but as you'll see, much of what we've learned about feelings isn't true and our ability to clearly express feelings is often limited.

One reason for this is that we've been trained to focus on the needs and feelings of others, rather than getting in tune with our own emotions. We're also taught to consider what others think is the "right" way for us to feel or what we should do.

We encounter these obstacles even in our churches and homes.  Did you grow up with the "JOY" principle?  (Jesus first, yourself last, others in-between)  Were you taught that it was considered "good manners" to put the needs of others before your own?  Do you find yourself feeling a certain way, then stopping yourself, because it's not considered the "right" way for a Christian to feel?

Oh, I'm not saying we shouldn't think of others, but it seems that often taking time to consider our own feelings is thought of as something evil.  Take a moment to recall what we're instructed to do on an airplane.  You know, the whole "put on your own oxygen mask first so that you can help your child with theirs" spiel.  There's no way we can help others and show them care and compassion unless we make sure our own needs are being taken care of and to do this, we have to learn to clearly express our emotions.

We need to strengthen our feeling vocabulary.

One way to do this is to become familiar with some difficulties in clearly expressing feelings:

• Stating an opinion
• "I feel it's not right to have to clean it by myself." vs. "I feel angry when I have to clean it myself."
• Labels 
• I feel inadequate as a guitar player." vs. "I feel frustrated." 
• Diagnosis of another person
• "You are disgusting when you eat." vs. "I feel disgusted when I watch you eat."
• Being too vague
• "I feel good/bad." vs. "I feel delighted/uncomfortable when you hug me."
• Following "I feel" with phrases like that, like, or as if
• "I feel as if you don't care when I cook dinner." vs. "I feel annoyed when I don't receive a thank you for cooking dinner."
• Following "I feel" with a pronoun - or a noun referring to another person
• "I feel you don't love me." vs. "I feel sad."
•  Describing how we think others are evaluating us
•  "I feel unimportant." vs. "I feel insecure."
• Forming an assessment of others' understanding
• "I feel misunderstood." vs. "I feel troubled."
• Making an interpretation of the actions of others
• "I feel ignored/neglected."  vs. "I feel hurt." 
• Self-judgement
  • "I feel worthless." vs. "I feel fragile."
• Using words like abandoned, abused, neglected, attacked, cheated, unwanted (not true feelings - words like these convey evaluations and interpretations)
•  If you can replace the word feel with think, then it's not a true feeling.

We don't always have to use the words "I feel" if it's really an emotion.  We can just use the emotion.  ("I'm outraged" works just as well as "I feel outraged.")

Just as practicing a sport can strengthen our muscles, we can strengthen our feeling vocabulary by becoming more familiar with emotional states and physical sensations and the words associated with them.  I've created these feelings mini-posters to help you when your needs are and aren't being satisfied and I'm sharing them with you as a free download!

You can print them out to display and help you practice specific emotions, post them on your refrigerator as a reminder of what words you can use, or even use them as flash cards (Do you homeschool?  These mini-posters would work well for studying different feelings words!)

What's next in this series?  You'll find out that while it's important to clearly express our feelings, it's equally important to learn how to share the cause behind the feeling (I feel X because Y) as well as make requests to others to ensure our needs are being met.

NVC concepts can make such a difference in how you view yourself and others.  Feel free to ask any questions regarding NVC you might have in the comments - and don't forget to sign up to receive Syncopated Mama blog updates by email, so you don't miss a single installment of this series!

Resources I've used to learn about NVC

Keep reading!  Find Part 5 of my NVC series here!

Linked up with Thrifty Thursday at Living Well Spending Less
Linked up with Yes Works for Me at We Are THAT Family 
Kitchen Fun & Crafty 
I'm Lovin It 
Free & Fun Blog Party
Creative Ways 

Enjoy Improved Relationships by Using Nonviolent Communication, Part III

If you want to support what I’m doing with this blog, just follow any of the product links and order whatever you want off of Amazon at no additional cost to you.  That’s it and I’ll get a little bonus.  Thanks so much for clicking!

 

This is part three in my series on Nonviolent Communication.  You can find part one here and part two here.

Today we'll be focusing on the first step involved in the mechanics of the NVC process.

It's important to remember that these steps should be applied with correct intention in order for them to be considered NVC.  NVC's intention is not to get people to do what we want, but to create a quality connection so that the needs of everyone can be compassionately met.

Remember the 2 Foundational Questions of NVC that I shared with you in the previous post?  

• How are you?  
• What would make life more wonderful?

We use these questions when communicating with others in order to express what's alive in us and how our needs are and aren't being met.

In order to do this effectively, we need to keep evaluations and observations separate.  This process begins with making a clear observation of the actions of others without judgement, evaluation, analysis, criticism, labels or diagnosis.

Be specific and describe

Sounds simple, but there are many confusions between observations and evaluations.  Here are some examples:

1. Using verbs (including forms of "to be") in observations  "You are too generous!" vs. "When I see you give so much money to others, I think you're being too generous."
2. Using verbs that evaluate "Bob procrastinates." vs. "Bob only studies for exams the night before."
3. Using inferences as the only possibility  "She won't turn her work in." vs. "She said, 'I won't turn my work in.'"
4. Confusing predictions and certainty  "If you don't eat well, your health will suffer." vs. "If you don't eat well, I fear that your health will suffer."
5. Failing to be specific in references  "Minorities don't take care of their homes." vs. "I've never seen the minority family living next door shovel snow."
6. Using words denoting ability without specifying an evaluation is being made  "Bob is a poor soccer player." vs. "Bob hasn't scored a goal in the last five games."
7. Using adverbs or adjectives in ways that don't signify an evaluation is being made  "Bob is ugly." vs. "Bob's looks don't appeal to me."
8. Using words (such as always, never, seldom, & frequently) as an exaggeration  "Bob's always late." vs. "Bob was 15 minutes late three times last week."

By confusing evaluations with observations, we provoke defensiveness in others, instead of compassion. 


So, this first step in the mechanics of the NVC process is to be specific and describe the actions of others which are interfering with our needs being met.

 

NVC concepts can make such a difference in how you view yourself and others.  Feel free to ask any questions regarding NVC you might have in the comments - and don't forget to sign up to receive Syncopated Mama blog updates by email, so you don't miss a single installment of this series!

Resources I've used to learn about NVC

Keep reading!  Find Part 4 of my NVC series here!

Linked up with Thrifty Thursday at Living Well Spending Less
Yes Works for Me at We are THAT Family  
Kitchen Fun & Crafty at Kitchen Fun with My 3 Sons
I'm Lovin It at Tidy Mom 
Creative Ways