When It's January 2nd and Your New Year Goals Are Already Shot

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Remember those 2016 goals I shared?

You know, not even three days ago, in the first 5 After 5 post for this year?

And most specifically, do you remember how my number one goal was to get back on the bike?

I was so jazzed about this goal that I determined to get out there that very afternoon, on only the second day of the month.

So G and I made a plan.

He'd spend a few hours in the morning grading (Winter Break - Ha!) and I'd continue to clean up the aftermath of Hurricane Tissue Paper that we tripped over nightly, as we passed the Christmas tree on the way to the bedroom.

Oh, yes, you read that correctly.


It was already January 2nd, and our Christmas morning aftermath was still strewn about the room like an exploded cotton ball factory.

In our defense, we did rush right out after our opening frenzy and head to Orlando to do the big family gathering thing.

And then we stayed there for a couple of days.

But we were back home by the 28th, so really, we have no excuse.

All that debris just kept things festive, right?

So our plan was set.  G was up to his eyeballs grading papers covered with limits and integrals and infinite series, and I was rapidly filling the recycling bin with all the wrapping paper from my gifts (because I rip open my presents like an animal) and stuffing an already-bulging storage box with everything used to wrap G's presents (because he takes fifteen bazillion years to open a gift by first removing all the tape and then gently prying open the paper covering, so that it can be folded and re-used, next year).

Lunch time rolls around, and I'm figuring he'll take a break, we'll eat, and then head out to the trail.

But then Gv announces that she wants to take a nap, and everything goes downhill from there...

Now, the nap is not the problem.  Little girl likes her naps and daily announces that she's ready for "boobies in the bed!" (I still nurse her to sleep, twice a day) when she's ready to hit the hay.

So she gets all situated in her bed.  She's arranged the pillow I like to lay on at just the right angle and has the napping blanket all ready to go.

"I'm ready!"  She calls.  This should be easy, I think.  She's raring to get to sleep.

An hour and a half later, my little leech is still flopping and flailing around.  She's trying, but just can't seem to nod off.  Hmmm, could it perhaps be due to the Christmas cookies that G, in true dad-is-great Cosby-style, fed her for breakfast?

Finally, she settles down and drifts off, which then begins the process known around here as "extricate myself from beneath her sleeping form, without waking her or having her claw her way back up to latch on and begin the whole ordeal again."

Three attempts later (I sneezed, the doorbell rang, and then I inadvertently kicked a doll off the bed - none of which woke her, thank goodness, but all of which caused her to shimmy her little leechy self back onto me, regardless of which way I was facing or what quadrant of the bed I had managed to slither away to), I escaped.

By this point, it's 2 pm.  My body warmth on the blanket usually only hangs on about 30 minutes or so, so I'm figuring that will give me just enough time to change into my cycling clothes, get the bike rack on the car, and pump up my tires before she wakes up.

G is, of course, back grading, but he's just planning to take a jog with Gv in the stroller, so his prep involves nothing more than putting on a pair of ridiculously bright running shorts and making sure he doesn't double-up on any of his toe-sock slots.

It takes me no time to get dressed, but my bike tires are completely empty, so it takes a little longer than usual to pump them up.  And, of course, the contraption's been hanging there on the wall (yes, I hang my bike, Seinfeld-style, in the family room) collecting dust that needs wiping off, and the chain needs oiling, and the bike's computer needs re-calibrating, and...

And then G reminds me that the jogging stroller needs air, too.

Which of course, I've never done, so that takes me forever and a day to figure out.  Hey, don't laugh, the spokes are really weird on that thing so I couldn't get the pump nozzle in there without letting all the air back out again!

It's now been an hour since I began this bike-ride-prep scenario and while I do have the stroller pumped and in the back of the car, the bike loaded on the bike rack on the back, my riding gear and iPod stowed in the backseat, and water for all three members of my family ready to go, Gv is still asleep.

I go in and try and wake her, but she's dead to the world (where was that when I was trying to escape?) and so I collapse onto the couch to give her a few minutes more of shut-eye before trying again.

Needless to say, at 4pm I'm loading her potty, clothes, and her still-sleeping body into the car to just go because I do not have lights on my bike and therefore will not ride in the dark.

By the time we pull into the trail parking lot, Gv is awake and ready to run.  G takes down my bike, gets the stroller set up, adds all the water bottles to their appropriate holders and is set to head out.  I've, meanwhile, pottied and changed the kid, who is now scrambling excitedly into the stroller, ready to "run with Daddy."

G decides to go ahead and start, since I'll pass them in a few moments, anyway.

I still have to change my shoes, put on my helmet and gloves, stick my driver's license and phone in my seat pouch, and thread my iPod headphones up through the back of my shirt so that I can listen to them without strangling myself every time I turn my head.

Finally, I walk my bike to the trail, clip my left foot in, and set off.  I'm jamming away to the opening strains of Volare and get my right foot clipped in to the pedal when suddenly, my foot flies right up into the air.

This is what happened:

Yes, my shoe clipped in just fine, but then my entire shoe came off its sole.

Luckily, I was able to get my left foot out without falling and then walk the 50 or so feet back to the car, where it took me 30 minutes to get that stinking sole detached from the bike pedal.

Of course, it didn't help that I was frustrated beyond belief - all that prep work, all that ordeal, and now I wasn't even going to be able to ride - and who knew for how long, because "buy Lisa new bike shoes" wasn't exactly in the budget at the moment.

Is this a sign of how the year is going to go? I wondered.

Just then, a husband and wife rode up on their bikes to the car parked beside me.  The man offered to help, then we all got to chatting about cycling and travel and the weather and the fact that he's been sleeping on the floor for the past two weeks because he did something to his back one day when he was putting his bike on the car rack...

Oversharing, dude.  Oversharing.

They left, and I climbed into my car, still grumbling over my missed opportunity.

But then I remembered Goal #5 - to live more in the moment, and I decided to change my attitude.

Sure, I was still terribly disappointed, and you know I totally milked as much sympathy as possible from G when he and Gv returned (one hour later), but I tried to focus on the fact that my two Gs still had fun on their run, that the weather was nice, that I had a pleasant chat with two strangers, that I had luckily brought along my Nook just in case and so was able to play the silly Oregon Trail app that I've been sucked into since just before Christmas, and that because of all the air-pumping and bike-cleaning and chain-oiling I did before this non-ride ride, I won't have to do hardly any of it the next time...

Oh, I was still grouchy for a good part of the evening, especially when I heard G running the bath water so he could take a post-run Epsom Salt soak and I was reminded that I had absolutely no reason for such muscle relief.

Even though I was still completely worn out from the whole ordeal.

But, I did manage to make an attempt to live more in the moment, and to look for the positive in whatever situation I was in, so I count that as at least a minor success.

Now, to get back to scouring eBay for some cheap bike shoes...

Have your attempts at reaching your 2016 goals already been thwarted?  Or are you well on your way to checking them all off your list?  I'd love to hear!  Either leave a comment below or email me at lisahealy (at) outlook (dot) com.

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